I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
