Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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