it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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