You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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