I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
