I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
