Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
