You really coming over, don't trick.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
