i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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