I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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