Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.