I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Small penises have feelings too.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself