the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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