It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
