dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
