they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
