I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
