I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is classic penis vs brain.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
