Soap is not a condiment
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
