this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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