I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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