Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
