I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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