Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
