it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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