Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize