You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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