When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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