First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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