Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
