Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
