In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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