Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
