it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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