i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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