New low: just hacked my moms facebook
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize