i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
