Betty ford says i'm here all night
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
