What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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