so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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