peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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