I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize