My nipple is on Facebook.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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