i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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