He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
