I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
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