your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
