party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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