So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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