Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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