Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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