just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
