sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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