Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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