And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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