i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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