I heard we made out
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
