soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
