thus making me awesome and them whores
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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