Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
