Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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